Carving Elephants



An Offer From Mrs. Harlow

I love checking my spam folder! If you are interested in Mrs. Harlow's offer, please feel free to respond to the address(es) below.


fromMrs Grace Harlow <info@bi.gov>
reply-tograceharlow_mrs02@yahoo.cn
to
dateMon, Jul 26, 2010 at 6:59 PM
subjectPlease Get Back To Me

Dear Friend.


Greetings in the name of God, Please let this not sound strange to you for my family lawyer who would have handled this executor ship of my will on my behalf died early this year after a protracted illness. I prayed and got your email ID from your country's guest book. I am Mrs. Grace Harlow from Oman, 58 years old. I am suffering from a protracted cancer of the lungs which has also affected my brain cells as a result of complications. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that according to my doctor I have been advised that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a critical and life threatening stage.

I was brought up in an orphanage home as a child of circumstance, having been abandoned at birth by my teenage biological mother and taken to an orphanage home by a Good Samaritan. I was married to my late husband Mr. Gamal Harlow for twenty years without a child my husband was hypertensive and died of cardiac arrest.

Since my husbands death I decided not to re-marry when my ailment became terrible, I sold off all our choice properties and personal belongings including a shopping mall, an hotel, shares, bonds, jewelries and other valuable family treasures and deposited the proceeds amounting to USD$10.2million dollars with STANDARD ALLIANCE BANK PLC. Presently, this money is still lodged with the Bank and the management and board of directors of the bank just wrote me as the sole owner to come forward to receive the money after having kept it for so long a time in their coffers or that I can issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over and claim the funds due largely to my illness or they get it confiscated.

Presently, I'm writing you with my laptop in a hospital in London located at Discovery Court Wallisdown Road Poole BH12 5AG London-England. It is the leading cancer treatment hospital in the world. I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. My doctors like i said earlier told me that I have only two months to live. It is my last wish therefore to see that 70% of this money which amounts to usd$7,140,000.00 (seven million one hundred and forty thousand dollars only) is invested to any organization of your choice and distributed each year among charitable Organizations, the poor and the motherless babies homes. You can also extend to churches and mosques if you wish. 30% of the money which amounts to usd$3,060,000.00(three million sixty thousand dollars only) is for your personal use.

I want you as a God fearing person to take it upon yourself and use this money for the aforementioned purposes i took this decision in other to help humanity in my little capacity before I rest in peace in the bosom of the almighty, according to my physicians my time will soon be up. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the official contact of the First Inland Bank plc officials, to enable you reach them without delays. I will also issue you a letter of authorization that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my will. The funds have an open beneficiary mandate and as such it is whom I authorize to act on my behalf that the bank will recognize and release the funds to, Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Please reply me through these my private email Address with your details started Below:graceharlow_mrs02@yahoo.cn

(1) Full Name
(2) Address
(3) Occupation
(4) Sex
(5) Age
(6) Phone & Fax Number

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Mrs. Grace Harlow.


Predators: A Review

Dude! I waited so many years to see a decent sequel and finally sat down to see Predators this evening! Danny Trejo! Larry Fishburne! Props and action that hearkened to the original! Well, that took care of the first third of the movie. Seriously, it was like Vin Diesel got really high one night and played the original Unreal game while Cube (1997) was playing in the background. "You what would be awesome? They're trapped in this cube and don't know each other, but, like, the cube had no walls, man!" Then he shoved in his own interpretation of the ending to Apocalypse Now to give the movie credibility. 

Oh! Errol, if you read this, I advise you stay up as late as you can, find the highest priced theatre in the area and lay down a sawbuck to see this extravaganza. If you drive slightly below the speed limit on your way home, you may be able to catch it airing on Syfy by the time you get back. Professional opinion: What a piece of shit.


Feeding The Monsters

Lately, I've been thinking about quirks and predilections. Not the impulses you get in line at the store that leave you with an armful of tabloids and candy, but the ones that are integral to your being that, if left unattended, cause a backlash or overindulgence. A good friend of mine sometimes refers to these as "monsters" and, big or small, they need to be fed. Sometimes they take the form of needing to dive into a vice, and other times they take the form of needing to visit our guilty pleasures.


Now, I am not talking about the voices scratching against your brain that tell you to burn down the local church, or even listening to the neighbor's dog when it tells you to slaughter the women in your neighborhood. Those are monsters of a different sort, and feeding them does not leave them sated, so much as it does make them grow and become hungry for more...or so I've heard from...um...friends.

I think what I'm trying to get at is living a life of moderation, while not denying yourself those things that bring you pleasure. There should be no such thing as a "guilty pleasure" in your life. If you enjoy something - be it the occasional piece of rich chocolate, or sitting down with one of the "Police Academy" movies, then indulge! Celebrate what you enjoy, and to hell with what everyone else thinks! Be yourself, and don't kick what you enjoy under the carpet for even the tiniest fear of being scoffed at by others or thought of as weird. It's what  makes you an individual, and denying yourself these pleasures is denying who you are. Living a life full of lying to yourself isn't healthy, and the backlash can often be more harmful to yourself and those close to you than being true to who you are and what you like.

That being said, I'm going to sit back with a can of Foster's and watch Fern-Gully and hope it synchronizes with my old Bananarama albums.



Changes For The Simpler

I took some time a few days ago to tweak this blog a little bit, in an attempt to make it more in-line with not only the content, but also what I enjoy. Gone are the tons of advertisements in the sidebars. I refuse to promote incongruous things on a site that reflects my major interests. No longer will you be seeing ads for M&M candies, TypePad (which is useful, but not something that is a major part of my life), or anything else that we do not fully support for the sake of having a few pennies tossed our way each month. I've decided to stick with GoDaddy, because I'm very happy with their service and prices. Likewise, I will continue to promote absinthe on here, because it's a preferred beverage, and you can take that pleasure away from me when you pry the bottle from my pale, wormwood-saturated fingers.


I also decided to place a Twitter widget in the sidebar, because not only do I use my Twitter account (@CarvedElephant in case you're interested) to promote the articles I've written, but also to share news stories and tidbits that I think are of interest, but neither have the time to plagiarize and post here, nor are they all necessarily pertinent. (They are entertaining, however.)

This brings me to the third point I wanted to make. Just in time to see the wave come crashing down after so many have been riding the crest, Carving Elephants has decided to advertise on Twitter. Not only has this proven more successful than when the site itself was riddled with ads, but it's something that's going to continue until the teat we're suckling is shooting powder. The ads range from sales, to contests, to simply checking out mobile apps. The feed also isn't trying to pull the wool over your eyes. All ads have blatant disclosure words such as "sponsored," "brought to you by," and the always subtle "advertisement." So if you see an appealing offer, click on it, even if you have no intention of actually buying anything. Those clicks are going to keep this site up and running, and allow me to write about Android phones, paranormal activity, how much I dislike Zack Galifianakis, how to simplify your life and make things easier, and the usual light-hearted articles you've come to know and love.


The libertarian Dime – Episode 79 – Immigration

On tonight's episode, Shane and I will tackle the topic of immigration. This is a hot-button issue in the media, and with practically everyone in this country, with cities boycotting each other, states trying to pass legislation that is stricter than federal guidelines toward immigration, and tension rising across the country because of this very polarizing issue.


We will take time to look at both sides of the issue, the repercussions of tightening or even closing our borders to people wanting to come into our country, and even look at how the free market might be able to straighten out the issue. No matter where you stand on the issue, you'll definitely want to listen to tonight's broadcast of The Libertarian Dime.

We will be going live at 9:30 pm EST. You will be able to tune in here, and also participate in the chat session once the show starts. We've been showing string numbers and our listenership keeps increasing, so thank you, and keep it up!




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